literature

Just friends,huh?

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Just friends huh? That boy has no idea how many feelings I have rushing through me since he declared us just that. Friends. A word that doesn't come close to how we act.
  He'll sleep with me every night, half the time clinging on to me in his sleep. Mumbling little nothings in his sleep about pasta and what not. All those nights he woke me up telling me he had nightmares and couldn't fall asleep, crawling into my arms asking me to make them go away.
  Then the times he'd kiss me in public, telling me how great of a friend I was, and how much he liked me. He'd always leave me speechless when he did such things. I'd always mumble something and walk away, asking myself why I never told him to stop those actions. Why I couldn't bring my self to tell him this wasn't the way friends acted.
  "Ludwig are you okay?" his hand brushed the hair out of my face so I could see his face clearly. Thinking about this in his presence wasn't the best of ideas but what else could I do. He followed me everywhere, and right now I couldn't fall asleep so thinking was my only option.
  "I'm fine Feliciano. I'm just thinking." He furrowed his eyebrows and threw me a gentle frown. He knew something wasn't right. I could never hide anything from him, and that was one thing I loved about the small boy.
  "It looks like something is bothering you, are you sure everything's fine?" This boy might seem like the less bright in the pack, but he's very attentive. He always finds a way to know how I'm feeling. He always surprises me with things such as this.
  He kissed my cheek, backing away with that innocent face of his. I'm left dumbfounded, confused once again by his actions. I feel this weird sensation in the pit of his stomach as I look at him and I have to refrain from thinking of it as love, affection.
  "Please… Feliciano. Stop this." He looks at me like I've just kicked a puppy and it truly hurt me. It's always hard to deal with the face he throws me. The face of sadness.
  "Stop what Ludwig?" He was clearly confused, and I knew I had dragged all this out longer than I should have. I should've told him to stop showing so much affection in the beginning and I wouldn't be in such a dilemma.
  "This." I wave my hands around us. "This whole thing. Friends… friends don't do these kind of things Feliciano." He pushed the blanket away from himself, and I wasn't surprised that he didn't have trousers on. This was a habit from him since the beginning, the very beginning. He crawled over to my side and held my hand, which to be honest was something I wasn't expecting.
  "But they do these things when they feel they have a connection with the other, don't they?" He was playing around with my fingers and I was trying hard to answer his question. This was preposterous. There was no way I cared that way for this boy. There can't be a connection between him and I… can there?
  "I…don't know…" If I really don't feel a connection with him then why did I never back him away from me? Why did I always let him kiss me, and let him sleep with me? Was this really a connection between us? Or is it Feliciano's so called 'friendship'?
  "But when we kiss you never say anything. When I hug you and sit on your lap you never push me away. Ludwig… are you sure you don't know? Or are you too scared to show affection?" He might be right. I might be scared to show affection. Hell I might be too scared to admit I can show affection at all.
  "I…I don't know Feliciano." His eyes changed then, they were filled with anger and sadness. That's what I saw most. Sadness. And Ill never forget that I was the one that wiped away the smile on his face. The smile that was always present.
  "You don't know?! If you don't want me with you fine! I'll leave, ill sleep in the living room from now on." He began to get up and before I knew it my hand was holding his elbow. I couldn't explain my actions, I didn't know why I did it, but deep down I knew I did the right thing.
   He turned to face me with tear filled eyes, and I knew it then. That there might be a connection between us. Just by the feeling I got when I saw him crying.
  "Please… don't go." I pulled him to me and embraced him. He buried his face in my chest, his sobs filling the room. I felt his tears seep through my shirt and I hated it. I hated the feeling of him being sad in my arms. I ran my hand up and down his back trying to sooth him and I could tell it was working because he was going still in my arms. His arms went limp and it was then that I found out he had fallen asleep.
  I laid the boy down on his share of the bed and brought the blanket up to his shoulders. I sat there for a long moment just looking at his face. His eyes were puffy and red from crying, but that smile. The smile that always lit my day was there.
  "Feliciano… I think, I love you." I love him. It's that clear to me now. The relationship I have with him is like no other. If I didn't feel something for him the kissing, hugging, and sleeping with one another would never have happened.
  I bent down and placed a kiss on his cheek, and I froze when he turned and hugged me. I thought he had heard me but I let out a sigh of relief when he was still asleep. That night I fell asleep with only one thing on my mind.
  The feelings I had for the young boy.
Feliciano then sat up after Ludwig had fallen asleep, his hand over the spot he had kissed him.
  "Oh Ludwig, I love you too."
  0o0o0o
  It's been a few days since the incident occurred. The young Italian boy hasn't changed, he still walks up to me and places kisses on my face like he did in the beginning. I was wrong when I thought he'd never do these things again after I made him cry. But I'm happy he's still the normal Feliciano. The one that made me smile for the first time out of love. I think I'm happy because I believe I'm returning that same affection.
  "Ludwig! Look!" He was pointing up at a cloud. That particular cloud made me smile. "Isn't it pretty Ludwig? It's a heart!"
  He dragged me out of the house today to look up at the clouds. And to be quite honest it wasn't as horrible as I thought. It was very peaceful and quiet, not including the sounds of birds chirping, and the grass wasn't so uncomfortable to lie on either.
  I look over at him and grab his hand. "Yes it is. But there's something more wonderful than that cloud… by my side everyday." I smile at him when he stares at me like he hasn't seen me in days. I knew that he wasn't expecting my words.
  Today is the day I'm using all my courage to tell this boy…my boy how much I care for him.
  "Ludwig… Do you really mean that?" His grip on my hand tightened a bit, and his eyes were round, and on the verge of spilling tears. I nod my head as I bring myself closer to him.
  "Yes… I do. Three days ago, when I hurt you, the day I brushed away your smile and had you in my arms I knew… that I cared for you, that there was a connection between us. I was just thinking too much before to notice it." I could feel my cheeks turn hot as I spoke, it felt weird to me. After all I never had a reason to blush unless it had to do with something the Italian did. "I guess what I'm trying to say Feliciano is that…well I think I love you."
  I looked into his eyes then, and I saw tears. Those chocolate eyes I loved so much had tears in them. It confused me, I thought I had offended him, or had done something wrong, but after a few seconds I saw that those were tears of joy. Not sadness.
  He brought his hand up to my cheek and smiled. "That night, I felt your kiss. I heard you tell me you loved me. I've known all along, and it's so nice to hear it again."
  When he told me that, my face must've turned as red as a tomato. I thought he was sleeping, I would never have said anything if he was listening because I would most likely not have the courage to do so.
  "So all this time… you knew?" for the first time in a while my voice faltered. It cracked near the end and it embarrassed me.
Feliciano immediately sat up, to look at straight in the eyes. A look of intelligence I had never seen before, lay within those pools of chocolate.
"Ludwig, do you want the real reason? The reason I told you we were just friends?" He asked, his eyes boring into my own. I just nodded, not knowing what else to do.
  He turned his back to me, as he answered. "The reason is, I never thought you could love me back."
  My mouth fell open, and I sat up so I could sit next to him. "What would ever make you think that?"
  "I didn't believe I was good enough." He yelled
  "Why?" I asked, placing my hand on his back. He leaned into my touch, I could feel his heart racing. He turned, so he could grab my hand.
  We sat there, as the young Italian gathered his thoughts. I just stared at him the whole time, wondering how I could ever make someone feel so much. Wondering how anyone could ever make me feel so much.
"I wasn't any good at combat training or fighting against anyone. You always had to come save me, and my brother has tried to kill you more than once."
He stopped, collecting his thoughts once again, but before he could say more I used my other hand to stroke his cheek. He placed his hand over the one touching his cheek.
  I cupped his face, and brought it towards mine. Allowing our foreheads to touch. Surprising both myself and Feliciano, because a blush crept on both of our faces.
  "I always pretended to fall asleep. Just so I could wait until you were. You always looked so peaceful and bello."
  I blushed an unhealthy shade of red when he called me beautiful in Italian, and Feliciano just smiled.
  He leaned forward, "Kiss." He stated and asked at the same time. Just like the many times before, however this time would be different.
  It would stand for an ending and a beginning.
  I moved an inch closer, and pressed my lips against his. The only thing I could feel was warmth, spreading through me like a wild fire.
  I pulled the small Italian into my lap, holding him close and for once in my life, not worrying about the consequences that tomorrow would bring.
  "I love you, Feliciano Vargas. I love your idiotic ways, your uselessness, your pasta, the fact that you sleep naked in my bed and your wild hair curl. I love every single thing about you." I spit everything out, needing to finally get the words off of my chest.
He just looked at me and smiled. "I love you, too."
A collab I did with :iconpoofyparanormal:.
Because she was having a hard time,writing an ending and passed the story along my way,and how I could refuse??
Please check out her stories too. They are mostly Akuroku....but,hey,Yaoi is Yaoi right!
And she is the Roxas to my Axel!!!
:iconaxelrapefaceplz:
:iconroxaswtffaceplz:
© 2011 - 2024 Headurohsnap
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Oh my goodness, it's like you know the EXACT situation I'm in. Hopefully it's going to give me the courage to ask him out tomorrow! :D